Read This If You Have Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is often the presenting problem of a deeper issue, whose roots are very deeply embedded into a person’s internal system. Nobody is born with low self-esteem. It is often a person’s environment and life experiences that makes people develop a low sense of self worth. For example, bullying, multiple breakups, negative body image, rejection or abandonment by a caregiver or a loved one, comparison, and challenging life experiences like unemployment.

Low self-esteem is exacerbated and maintained by the relationship we have with ourselves. When you wake up in the morning, what do you tell yourself? When you go to bed, what do you tell yourself about the day you just had? “You are such an embarrassment!” “Oh, you look horrible as always!” “You will never amount to anything!” “You’re so dumb! No wonder you can’t keep a job!” “You are unworthy!” “Nobody will ever love you!”

The thing about the human brain is that it amplifies whatever inputs you consistently give it. If you keep telling yourself you are unworthy, your brain is going to keep giving you evidence to support your beliefs. But is this really evidence that you are unworthy? Absolutely not.

You see, if you believe you are unworthy, you are likely going to present yourself as someone who is. For instance, always sitting at the back of the room to avoid being noticed, being too sacred to voice your opinions, failing to prioritize your needs, talking yourself out of opportunities, and putting up with disrespect. And, sometimes, this may happen unconsciously, meaning you are not even aware of the ways that you are self-sabotaging.

So what can you do differently today to enhance your self-esteem?

Pay attention to how you speak to and about yourself. Are your thoughts positive or negative? Are your thoughts empowering or disempowering? You can divide your sheet into two columns. In one column, record the positive thoughts, in the other, record the negative thoughts. This exercise will help you gain insight about the thoughts that are maintaining your low self-esteem and making it worse.

When you complete step one, proceed to step two. Notice your thoughts without judging them. Say this, “I have a thought that I am not worthy.” Pay attention to how stating this thought out loud makes you feel. Thoughts have a direct effect on emotions and behavior. Record that in your journal. This recording will help you keep track of your progress.

What evidence is there to suggest that you are unworthy? List everything down as exhaustively as possible. Once you are down, create a list of the evidence that exists to suggest your are not unworthy. For some, this exercise will help. For others, it will reveal deep wounds and trauma/s that require a professional to help them process and find healing. If this sounds like you, you can book your session by clicking the link below.

Step four is the last step in this process. It involves un-identifying and distancing yourself from the negative thoughts. You say, “I am not this distortion that my thoughts are telling me that I am. I can let the thought that I am unworthy go.” Then take a deep intentional breath and exhale. Keep repeating this every time you experience a negative thought. Overtime, you will gain more control over your thought and cultivate a positive mental experience.

In conclusion, this article teaches you how to effectively manage the presenting issue(low self-esteem). To experience lasting change, it is important to identify the root cause of your low self-esteem. In addition, these steps are not a one-time thing. For you to rewire your brain and integrate this new way of life into your system, you will need to consistently practice these steps.