Your Tendency To Overgive May Be A Warning Sign You Should Not Ignore

We live in a society that prioritizes taking care of others. From a tender age, we are taught how to tend to others and make sure the people around us are okay. Nobody takes the time to teach us how to take care of ourselves. As a result, many people grow up feeling like prioritizing their needs is selfish. And so, they keep giving. But sooner than later, they realize that they have given so much of themselves that they feel empty and drained. This can create feelings of bitterness and resentment, which may manifest as anger issues and dissatisfaction with life in general. Here are some of the warning signs to look out for:

Feeling Obliged To Give

Giving is a personal choice. It is not something that is required of you if you are not willing or able. If you notice that you tend to give even when you know you will not have enough left for yourself, then that is a problem. Sometimes you may feel compelled to give so as not to disappoint others. This is also problematic because you are not giving out of the kindness of your heart. You are giving to sustain a relationship, which is not okay. Think about it, what will happen when you have nothing left to give? Durable relationships are formed on the basis of genuine interest. People who are genuinely interested in you will care about you as a person, not the things you are giving to keep them in your life.

Feeling Angry At The World And The People Around You

When you are used to overgiving, people get used to receiving from you. Some may even start to feel like it is their right to receive things from you. They may not care whether you are struggling or not. When you are not in a position to give anything, you may notice a change in people’s behavior. They may start avoiding or disrespecting you, and conflicts may increase. To avoid these negative outcomes, you may feel compelled to give so the relationship can go back to normal.

Over time, you may start feeling like people are using and taking advantage of you. But even with this realization, you may feel helpless that you cannot do anything to change your circumstances. Consequently, you become angry at the world, and sometimes you may not even know what is making you angry. You begin to feel unhappy within your relationships and you may start to blame the people around you for your unhappiness.

Needing Other People To Make You Happy

Some people spend their entire lives taking care of those around them while neglecting themselves. Subconsciously, they may expect the same in return, but that is not always the case. This may leave them feeling disappointed and unappreciated. You do not know who you are outside of your relationships, so you overgive your time because spending time by yourself feels uncomfortable or boring. You are running away from a void that, in your mind, only other people can fill.

Conclusion

We are social beings and we cannot exist in a vacuum. Therefore, we need to strike a balance between taking care of ourselves and tending to others. If you struggle with overgiving, you can start working on this issue by setting healthy boundaries that prevent you from neglecting yourself while taking care of the people around you. If you would like to explore this issue further and find a lasting solution, you can book your therapy session below.