I have had clients come in for therapy seeking my advice on personal or professional matters. Some explicitly say to me, “Please, I really need your advice.” Others state, “That is why I am in therapy: to get professional advice.” And if this was the case, then you wouldn’t need to be in therapy in the first place, right? A 10 minute call would be sufficient.
Therapy is professional support, not advice giving. The journey is yours, but your therapist walks alongside you. He or she creates a safe environment for you to explore your concerns in detail. Through this process, you may uncover new insights and a shift in perspective that may enhance your emotional wellbeing and help you make better decisions. When appropriate, your therapist may also equip you with helpful tools that you can use to enhance your decision making. This approach keeps you empowered rather than dependent.
The disadvantages of advice giving outweigh its advantages. Advice giving creates dependence and may negatively impact the therapeutic alliance. For instance, if your therapist gives you advice and it does not work, you may end up blaming them for that. This can create resentment, ultimately destroying the therapeutic relationship. On the other hand, if the advice works, you may become dependent on the therapist, expecting them to be making important decisions for you. If the therapist is not able to do this, you may become resentful.
Consequently, a professional therapist will always refrain from giving you advice. Instead, they will help you gain clarity over your situation and equip you with the skills and tools you need to make the right decision. You are the expert on your own life. You know what is best for you better than anyone else, including your therapist.
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